influencing skills

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influencing skills Tagged Articles

Stakeholder Management - Capturing The Valuable Learnings
Whilst stakeholder management is all about the efforts you make with key influencers as a project or activity progresses, there is a real value in capturing learnings for the next time...

Increasing Your Impact and Influence - Where Most People Go Wrong

Influence comes originally from the Latin meaning “to flow into”. You want something of you to flow into them. The “something” that people often talk about is “charisma” and there is, quite simply, no way of manufacturing it. It is not what you’ve got, but the effect you have on people. The problem with lots of the advice about how to be more charismatic or more influential is that it starts with completely the wrong person...you.

Increasing Your Impact and Influence - The Four Big Questions

There are four major questions for when you are trying to establish relationship and build influencing by design not by accident. Ask yourself these questions about the person you want create the right impression with. The answer to each question guides you in how to operate when you are working with them and seeking to build your personal impact and influence. Remember it’s not about you it’s about them...

Increasing Your Impact and Influence - When You Don't Even Know Them

Having the right kind of impact and influence, or making the right impression are clearly of vital importance in today’s competitive environment and preparation and planning are key. But suppose you don’t even know them? What if you’re going in cold to make that pitch or present your ideas? Forget PowerPoint special effects, the elevator pitch and your killer slogan and think about the person in front of you. Don’t switch on the projector yet, use every second you can to be in receiving mode and learn about them. Have these things in your mind as you think what would have impact and influence on their thinking. The answer to each question guides you in how to build your personal impact and influence.

Increasing Your Impact and Influence - Going Round in Circles is OK

Personal impact and influence is rarely linear. It is naive to believe that influencing follows a nice neat A-B-C-D route. Research into poor negotiators showed that one of the biggest mistakes was over-preparing a plan and believing that if you said “A” they would say “B” then you would say “C” etc.. The reality is they say “K” and it all falls apart. To achieve influence by design not by accident means having a guiding model which helps you know where you are but also gives you the flexibility to go somewhere else or go back if things aren’t working. The SatNav in your car is no good if it just keeps saying “straight ahead” when you’ve already turned right to avoid the traffic accident.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation - There's More Than One Way to Float Your Ideas

Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of sorts. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious – think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate, infuriate and become the subject of national debate. The analogy of the game is important because it is a reminder that there are rules that apply and expectations that players will abide by the rules – even when they are not spoken or written. As well as rules there are rituals (these are the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we “float” our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright.

Increasing Your Impact and Influence - Move Your Thinking Somewhere Else

To have lasting personal impact and influence requires you to not only be conscious of what you are doing but to notice the effects on the other person or people and to modify your behaviour based on what you notice. This means using the inbuilt qualities and abilities of the human brain to transport you and your thinking to another place or position – and from that position you can be a more effective negotiator or influencer. As human beings we are, as far as we know, the only animals that can practise not only empathy but imagine ourselves in a different place or time and observe what is happening from that perspective. Personal impact and influence requires you to constantly use that ability of the advanced human brain to best effect.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation: Notice Where Their Focus and Energy Is

Influencing is a social process. To have personal impact and influence you need one or more people to be affected by what you do or say. The only measure of whether or not you have the desired effect – a positive impact and lasting influence – is whether or not the other person thinks, feels or behaves differently. Perhaps the first thing to notice – the first dimension to consider – is how the other person appears to act in social situations. You may know them well or this may be the first time you have interacted with them. If you know them well you need to review your data on them and ask yourself some questions about how they operate.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation – Listen to How They Describe Things

Having impact and influence in negotiations is likely to lead to you getting more of what you want, achieving your objectives or goals and reaching a wise outcome. Personal impact and influence is really only successful if it lasts. To be a successful negotiator and have lasting impact and influence you will need to provide information in a way that the other person understands and can absorb. If not, you lose their attention and interest. They can become bored by too much detail or distracted by your apparent lack of commitment if there’s too little.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation – Observe their Decision Making Criteria

Becoming a skilled negotiator with personal impact and influence means being socially skilled and attending to your own style and behaviour to fit the situation and making changes based on what you notice. In this article the focus of attention is the way that decisions are made and the criteria that seem to influence their decision making. In most negotiations and influencing situations there are changes that need to happen and these are going to affect other people to a greater or lesser extent. For you to have the greatest chance of impact and influence you need to be tuned to how they make decisions and which criteria they consider to be important.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation – See How They Plan and Organise

For people to be influenced by you and for you to have personal impact in negotiations, discussions and meetings they need to “buy” what you have to “sell”. This article is about how they organise things and the amount of structure they seem to like. This is of vital importance not only in the meetings and discussions themselves but in any plans for the future – what happens after agreement has been reached and the discussions move to implementation.

Impact and Influence in Action – Prepare With The End in Mind

Setting positive foundations for effective influence and creating the right impact helps the conversation, interaction or negotiation by building rapport and establishing a working relationship. Preparation means thinking through your own and their point of view, assembling what you know about them as well as recognising your tendencies that act for and against your negotiating skills. Those wizards you see who seem to think on their feet have often spent time practising – I call it “rehearsed spontaneity” when I’m coaching senior managers and leaders.

Impact and Influence in Action – Being Nice Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Working

When working with other people I am more self-contained than interactive and my focus in decision making is more about logic than feelings. This means I’m not naturally great at small talk and some of that “getting to know you” stuff. However, I recognise that it is not enough to just start negotiating or presenting. Engagement and getting their attention is all part of creating the right impression, having a positive personal impact and being more influential. That age old “no second chance to make a good first impression” is more or less true. You can do a repair job later but it’s much much better to get it right first time. In the Hale Circle of Influence™ this element is known as Pleasantries.

Impact and Influence in Action – Make Sure Everyone Knows Where You’re Starting From

It’s important to set the scene for the discussions and make sure everyone is clear about the agenda. The danger here is that the need to get what you want or to resolve the issue means you jump straight into problem solving mode and discussions become about what needs to happen to move things to a conclusion. Just as important is clarifying what current reality is right now. It might not be where you or “they” would like to be but it is where you are in reality and thus is the starting point.

Impact and Influence in Action – Where Are They With This Issue?

Negotiation is, or should be, about reaching a wise outcome to a situation which needs resolution. The nature of any negotiation is that, at the start, there are differences. To have lasting impact and positively influence the outcome you need to understand what the differences are. In a way you could be the least qualified person to do this - you may not even want to hear things which will obstruct you in getting what you want. Just like waiting at traffic lights you need to engage neutral for a time and get out of the gear marked “Drive”.

Impact and Influence in Action – What Might be Possible?

To build and maintain impact and influence in negotiation and achieve a wise outcome it’s important to manage the levels of engagement. This means doing everything you can to ensure the conversation and interaction is about joint problem solving, not about fighting for domination. At some point in the discussions the conversation will move from divergent to convergent – from opening up and examining the issues towards closing down and reaching a solution or outcome. I teach negotiators, influencers and leaders to keep a diamond shape in mind (the shape you’d see on a playing card) and check from time to time where the conversation is and when it is time to make the “critical turn” and begin converging.

Impact and Influence in Action – It’s Not Just What’s Logically Right - What Do They Want?

Keeping the lines of communication open during negotiations is vital to your being able to have a positive impact and be of influence so that the final outcomes are both wise and fit with what you want. But you, of course, are not the only one in the conversation – that’s why you’re in negotiation. It takes at least two and the starting point is some kind of difference in expectations, thinking, and understanding or desired end results. Preferences play an important role in how much compromise is likely or possible. So it’s important that you explore these as you continue in the converging part of the negotiations – the part where you have started moving towards resolution.

Impact and Influence in Action – There’s More than One Way to Float Your Ideas

Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of sorts. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious – think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate, infuriate and become the subject of national debate. As well as rules there are rituals (these are the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we “float” our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright. Although you may value your personal style of directness, forthrightness and straight speaking this is a time, in my opinion, to play by the particular rules and rituals of the negotiation game.

Ten Things You Can Do To Influence By Design Not By Chance
Influence needs preparation – lucky breaks happen but for something important you can’t leave it to chance. You must have a structure or map which ensures you can mentally establish where you are and where you need to go next. This is your starting point or checklist but not your script. Be ready to rethink...

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – What’s Your Style?

Negotiation is an interpersonal process where each party wants to achieve a certain level of influence. Influence means causing others to change their thinking, feelings or behaviour in some way as a result of your words or action. Your influencing style is a preference built from the motivational values that have served you well in the past. Your point of view about how the world works will influence you in what you prefer to do and influencing is just one particular form of behaving.

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Rewards and Punishment

When influencing others you seek to affect the behaviours, thinking and feelings of others through what you say or do. This is part of the process in negotiations, presentations and meetings designed to engage and build commitments. If your preferred style of influencing is Rewards and Punishment you use the carrot and stick as your primary tools. The juicy carrot reward tempts the donkey to move and the punishment stick reminds him who is in charge if he doesn’t. Of course you don’t use methods as crude as this with people but the principles are similar.

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Logical Persuasion

Your preferred ways of operating in influencing situations are built from your motivational values – the things you take to be the truth, the way the world works and the beliefs which guide your interpersonal and social behaviour. These motivational values operate alone or in combinations to create predictable patterns of behaviour. If you have a tendency towards Logical Persuasion as your dominant style of influencing you use your thinking power to persuade others. Factual evidence and logic are your tools and you use these to demonstrate how an idea, argument or course of action is right or wrong.

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Common Vision

In influencing others you are balancing at least two factors, namely the result you want to achieve and the relationship you want to maintain. Too much emphasis on the result at the expense of the relationship may mean you get what you want in the short term but the chances of influencing in the future are lessened. If your dominant style of influencing is Common Vision you mobilise the energy and resources of others through appeals to their hopes, values and aspirations. Emotional appeal and rich picturing are your tools and you use these to demonstrate how people can be a part of that future. You lead with a vision and people soon see how that vision applies to them and how they can be a part of it. You describe the journey and encourage them to “get on the train”.

Behavioural Intelligence, Impact and Influence in Negotiation – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Participation and Trust

The act of influencing, whether in negotiations, meetings or conversations is the process of changing someone’s mind so that they choose to act, think or feel a different way about something or someone. If your preferred style of influencing is Participation and Trust you listen actively, drawing out contributions from others and showing understanding or appreciation where contributions are forthcoming. Your tendency is to focus on the strengths and positive aspects of others and you rely on people’s good nature to do what they say they will do.

Personal Impact and Influence – The Conversation Control Map

Conversations are how things get done in organisations. These conversations might be meetings, email interactions, telephone conferences or chance corridor or water cooler discussions. What they have in common is their purpose. Business conversations are there to solve a problem or make a decision. A mental model or map helps people notice where a conversation is and provides pointers to what to do next to move it to a more useful place.

Personal Impact and Influence – Behaviours on The Conversation Control Map
The best negotiators, leaders and communicators have a structure which guides their thinking and helps them to frequently check where they are in relation to their objectives or desired outcomes. Charles Margerison’s excellent Conversation Control Map is a tool I use extensively both in my own interactions and in training negotiators, salespeople, managers and leaders.

Personal Impact and Influence – Push and Pull on The Conversation Control Map

Behavioural Intelligence is the art of noticing what behaviours are operating in an interaction or conversation, deciding and then choosing the most useful and appropriate behaviour to do next - and you can Push or Pull. Either option could be right or wrong. Behavioural Intelligence means considering the context within which you are operating and making the behavioural choice based on what would best achieve your objectives or desired outcomes.

Behavioural Intelligence - Learning From World Leaders' Speech Secrets

If you want people to be engaged with your speech, presentation or written text you need to take some lessons from the orators, politicians and world leaders and build them into your material. Look at any great speech in recent history, whether it’s from Winston Churchill or Bill Clinton, Martin Luther King or Margaret Thatcher, Barack Obama or Nelson Mandela you’ll find some or all of the following tools of influence, persuasion and engagement.

Behavioural Intelligence – Attack Defend Behaviour in Negotiating

Learning the art of negotiating includes examining in detail your own behaviour and being able to make conscious, informed choices about what to do or say next. Behavioural Intelligence is about self regulation or self control - particularly in the face of conflict, disagreement or even attack by the other side. The golden rule for the professional is not to get into the Attack/Defend game or spiral. In Behavioural Intelligence we are very clear; you can control your own behaviour if you choose to. It is never true that others make you say or do something - you make that choice.

Behavioural Intelligence – The Secrets of the Most Successful Negotiators

There’s not a magic formula to being a great negotiator. Years on the road and round the table have taught me that Behavioural Intelligence is the essential tool for you to get the results you want and maintain a working relationship that allows you work together again in the future, two elements that you need to constantly manage in negotiations. Two distinct skills or techniques employed by negotiators and leaders trained in Behavioural Intelligence are part of the tool kit and not only help you to operate mindfully but actually improve your relationship and increase your trust and openness “scores”.

Influencing vs Negotiating
It has often been said that very strong negotiation skills are critical to being a high performing sales person. However, findings from our "sales force fitness" profiling work, where we profile critical qualities for successful sales performance in many businesses, large and small, is telling a very different story.

Are You Living Your Ideal Life?
The path to unlimited success and satisfaction in all areas of our lives is available to everybody. All you have to do is choose to take it. Very few people do though. Here are three easy to implement action steps to help get you on the path.

Selling A Competency or a Responsibility
Is selling a competency reserved for those with "sales" in their titles or is it a responsibility of everyone in the organization? Top performing companies see selling as a competency important to everyone in leadership or a position of influence.

The Six Stages of Persuasion
Public relations is all about influencing intended audiences. The road from presentation of ideas to actually influencing behavior can be a long one.

Top 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Pitching An Idea Or Project
Business is all about influencing others, and a sale is at the heart of business. You must be adept at influencing prospects, customers, your manager, your team mates and other departments in your company. Don’t hold back; but don’t make the following critical mistakes either.

Developing Your Leadership Skills
Leadership = Influence. The art or process of influencing people so that they will strive willingly and enthusiastically. As human beings we all influence someone: parent to child, teacher to student, friend to friend, employer to employee, and coach to athlete. If you stop to think about it, the list is endless. Therefore, we are all capable of influencing others.

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